Lost your balance on a tightrope…
by piss-on-me-ally
Summary: A Taylor Swift songfic. Jealousy, fear, anger, guilt and most importantly love. Everything you could want from a Jecker fic. Read to find out what happens in this rollercoaster of a romance! rated T for later chapters. R&R, please!
1. Superman! H

**Author's notes: More Jeckerness from ****me! Please read and review! Taylor Swift!**

_**Lost your balance on a tightrope… Lost your mind trying to get it back**_

**Superman**** - H**

Jess stared at Becker from across the room. Her eyes immediately darting to the screens in front of her when he looked over to her. She knew he could tell, but she would just play dumb and act like everything was fine and that he didn't know, because she knew that she had to be patient.

_**Tall dark and superman, he puts papers in his briefcase and drives away  
>To save the world or go to work- it's the same thing to me<strong>_

Whether he's on a mission or finishing papers from that mission, he's always going to be her hero.

___**He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition  
>I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him<strong>_

But he's that gorgeous soldier, with a horrible past and he's so perfect. Sometimes she wishes he wasn't. That she didn't love. That she didn't miss he when he was only in the next room! But that wasn't possible because of how incredibly amazing he was. DAMN HIM!

___**I hang on every word you say, and you smile and say how are you?  
>And I'll say just fine.<br>I always forget to tell you I love you. I'll love you forever**___

_**I watched Superman fly away  
>You got a busy day today<br>Go save the world  
>I'll be around<br>And I watched superman fly away  
>Come back I'll be with you some day<br>I'll be right here on the ground  
>When you come back down<strong>_

_**Tall, dark and beautiful, he's complicated, he's irrational  
>But I hope someday he'll take me away and save the day, yeh<strong>_

Then there's the days when he's annoying and doesn't listen and put other people before him. Other peoples lives before his. And she is still completely dazzled when she hears him voice.

___**Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying,  
>He's not all bad like his reputation<strong>_

And he's frustrating because he never lets anyone in. He has a bad past, that doesn't mean his is bad. Reputations aren't important.

___**And I can't hear one single word they say.  
>You'll leave, got places to be and I'll be OK<br>I always forget to tell you I love you  
>I loved you from the very first day<strong>_

_**I watched Superman fly away  
><strong>__**you got a busy day today  
>Go save the world, I'll be around<br>and I watched Superman fly away  
>Come back, I'll be with you someday<br>I'll be right here on the ground  
>When you come back down<strong>_

He just does what he likes. Flies off and doesn't listen to orders, unless, of course, if he's the one giving them.

___**And I watch you fly around the world  
>And I hope you don't take some other girl<br>Don't forget, don't forget about me  
>I'm far away but I never let you go<br>I'm love struck and looking out the window  
>Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be<br>Right here wishing the flowers were from you,  
>Wishing the card was from you wishing the call was from you<br>'Cause I've loved you from the very first day**_

And because of all this, he's obviously not single! That gorgeous, damaged, over protective, sweet, strong soldier. How could he not have a girlfriend?

___**I watched Superman fly away  
>You got a busy day today<br>Go save the world, I'll be around  
>Forever and ever<br>And I watched Superman fly away  
>I swear I'll be with you someday<br>I'll be right here on the ground  
>When you come back down<strong>_

So, Jess keeps it in. All that emotion is held in, because she knows that she could never be good enough. She's just another wide-eyed girl… and he's superman.

**Author's closing notes: Next song: Mean. The next chapters won't be just Jess thinking, there's going to be loads more drama, I just wanted to get it started with our current Jecker situation. Reviews please!**


	2. Mean! o

**Author's notes: Ok, here's the drama! Watch out Jess and Becker.**

**Mean – O**

"Everyone, this is Sammy. She's taking over from Jenny Lewis" Lester's voice boomed.

"It took 'em a while." Connor muttered.

"Temple!" Lester growled "Let me introduce every one. That's Connor"

"Ahh, I've heard lots about you" Sammy said shaking Connor's hand then winking at him.

_**You, with your words like knives**____**  
>and swords and weapons that you use against me<strong>___

"That's Abby" Lester continued. Abby gripped Sammy's hand a little too hard and whispered 'Connor's mine!'

"Well that's a very tight grip for a girl! Loosen up!" Sammy scoffed.

_**You, have knocked me off m**__**y feet again**____**  
>Got me feeling like a nothing<strong>___

"These are the two I was talking about. Matt and Emily."

"Ahh, so… Immigrants then. That's what you're saying." She giggled, walking straight past them.

_**You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard**____**  
>Calling me out when I'm wounded<strong>____**  
>You, picking on the weaker man<strong>____**  
><strong>_

"So that makes you Becker. Lester, tut, tut, tut. You said 'good soldier', you never said fit!" Jess stood with her mouth half open at what Sammy was saying. "She isn't your girlfriend, is she?" Sammy gestured to Jess. Becker shook his head nervously. "Great! I expect you to call me."

She turned to Jess. "You must be Jess. Don't you think that outfit is a little inappropriate for work? And besides, you're nowhere near hot enough to pull it off!" Jess was actually on the verge of tears.

"I'm sure she's just teasing… like you did with me on my first day." Jess smiled. Becker's probably right. Becker's always right… Damn him.

_**Well you can take me down **____**  
>With just one single blow<strong>____**  
>But you don't know what you don't know<strong>____****_

_**Someday I'll be living in a big old city**____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me<strong>____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Why you gotta be so mean?<strong>____**  
><strong>_

- Break room -

_**You, with your switching sides**____**  
>And your walk by lies <strong>____**  
>And your humiliation<strong>____**  
>You, have pointed out my flaws again<strong>____**  
>As if I don't already see them<strong>____**  
>I walk with my head down <strong>____**  
>Tying to block you out <strong>____**  
>Cause I'll never impress you<strong>____**  
>I just want to fell okay again<strong>___

"Hey Jessie. You still haven't changed yet. Believe me no-one wants to look at that" Sammy said pointing at Jess.

"Please just stop. And don't call me Jessie, my name's Jess. Stop being… being… … MEAN!" Jess squealed and pouted, before running off._****_

_**I'll bet you got pushed around**____**  
>Somebody made you cold<strong>____**  
>But the cycle ends right now<strong>____**  
>Cause you can't lead me down that road<strong>____**  
>And you don't know what you don't know<strong>___

- ADD -_****_

_**Someday I'll be living in a big old city**____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me<strong>____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<br>Why you gotta be so mean?**___

"Hey Jess." Becker said, but Jess said nothing. "Jess are you ok?" Jess's bottom lip trembled, but she managed to compose herself.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just had a bit of a rough day." Jess said, faking a smile. "I'll see you later." Jess managed to find a real smile in her as she walked off towards her ADD, seeing Becker always helped._****_

_**And I can see it years from now in a bar**____**  
>Talking over a football game<strong>____**  
>With that same loud opinion<strong>____**  
>But nobody's listening<strong>____**  
>Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things<strong>____**  
>Drunk and grumbling all about how I can't sing<strong>___

"Will you just stop with the whole Becker thing? Can't you see that he likes me? Not you!" Sammy spat down at Jess. Jess cowered down in her comfy chair. When it clicked

_**But all you are is mean**____**  
>All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life<br>And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean!**_

"You know what? I. Don't. Care… Get it? All you are is mean! And a liar and you're pathetic and alone!" Sammy winked at Jess and started fake crying, Becker immediately ran to her side.

"Jess! What did you say? You know what? I don't care. But if you can't be nice, then don't say anything!" Becker yelled._****_

_**But someday I'll be living in a big old city**____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Yeah<br>Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me**____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Why you gotta be so mean?<strong>___

Sammy put her arm around Becker and moved in way too close to him.

_**Someday I'll be living in a big old city**____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>____**  
>Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me<strong>____**  
>And all you're ever gonna be is mean<strong>___

_****_Jess slid off her chair and under her desk. Then started to cry.__

_**Why you gotta be so mean?**_

**Author's closing note: ****Next song: Tied together with a smile. What will Jess do now? Can she get Becker back? Review and I will PM you a spoiler!**


	3. Tied Together With A Smile! w

**Author's notes: YAY! Abby to the rescue! Sorry if some of the chapters are more song than story, this is more of just the build up to the mega stuff! :D**

**Tied Together With A Smile - w**

"Look, Jess, this girl is just a stuck up bitch! You and Becker have history; he's just being nice, because he saw her "crying" when all you did was stick up for yourself." Abby said to Jess as she paced around the room.

"But, I know he's going to call her! He's not the sort of person to just ignore others, so if I had just had a bit more courage, he would have called me ages ago!" Jess yelled as she continued pacing.

_**Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty  
>Is the face in the mirror looking back at you<br>You walk around here thinking you're not pretty  
>But that's not true, cause I know you<br>**_

Abby stood up and walked over to Jess "Honey, you need to stop pacing, you're just going to get upset."

"I was right. I'm not good enough. Even when I stand up for myself I'm a coward." Jess sobbed.

"That's not true! I would be upset if I was in your position, and I've lived in the Cretaceous for a year! You are really brave and I can't see any reason why he wouldn't like you!

_**Hold on baby you're losing it  
>The water's high you're jumping in to it<br>And letting go and no one knows  
>That you cry but you don't tell anyone<br>That you might not be the golden one  
>And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone<br>**_

"Abby, I'm fine really!"

"No, you're not Jess. Not after what you've been through."_****_

_**Guess its true that love is all you wanted  
>Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change<br>Hoping it will end up in his pocket  
>But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain<br>Oh cause it's not his price to pay  
>It's not his price to pay<strong>_

"Abby you don't get it! I go through "this" all the time! I'm used to being second best, looked down on, shut off from the rest! I just didn't think it would be like this after I left school, that's all."

"Jess, I didn't…"

"But this is like school!" Jess interrupted. "The popular people, the nerds and the guy that EVERYONE adores!"_****_

_**Hold on baby you're losing it  
>The water's high you're jumping in to it<br>And letting go and no one knows  
>That you cry but you don't tell anyone<br>That you might not be the golden one  
>And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone<strong>_

"Abby. When I said I was used to this… I meant it. I cry myself to sleep every night and then fake a smile for a long day at work"

"Jess" Abby sighed "Let it out. Everything. You just need to say everything to me get it out of your system"

Jess suddenly burst into tears "I don't get why everyone like the popular people so much! They're not even popular! Popular mean you have lots of friends and every single one of the "popular" people bitch about their friends behind their back! They're not intelligent! If they have to put that much make-up on all the time they're obviously not pretty. They're not kind! So why does everybody look up to them? They're nothing; there's nothing left for them to be! All. They. Are. Is. Mean!" Jess ranted as Abby stroked her hair. Abby smirked slightly_ Jess, you are so, so, so right _Abby thought._****_

_**oh oh oh oh  
>Hold on baby you're losing it<br>The water's high you're jumping in to it  
>And letting go and no one knows<br>That you cry but you don't tell anyone  
>That you might not be the golden one<br>And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone  
><strong>_

"I think you need to tell Becker. Without the fake smiles and the laughter. Just stop him from making a mistake." Abby whispered.

"You know what? I will! Yay!" Jess cheered, whipping the tears and mascara from her cheeks, before running for the door.

"And Jess." Jess span round and Abby gave her some tissues and make-up wipes. "I think you might need them" Jess giggled, before running off to find Becker.

**Author's closing notes: Next song: Speak Now. But will Jess be able to stop Becker in time... Find out!**


	4. Speak Now! I

**Author's notes: The time has come… we must all hang our heads in sorrow… for Jess…**

**Speak Now - I**

Jess was filled with courage from Abby! She just had a feeling that this was going to go well, but she had to wait for the right moment.

_**I'm not the kind of girl  
>Who should be rudely barging in<br>On a white veil occasion  
>But you are not the kind of boy<br>Who should be marrying the wrong girl**_

She could see Sammy from where she was hiding. Sammy wasn't near Becker but Jess knew that Sammy couldn't stay away. If she waited for the right moment she could kill two birds with one stone. Or maybe kill one bird and snog the other._****_

_**I sneak in and see your friends  
>And her snotty little family<br>All dressed in pastel**_

She could also see Matt, Emily and Connor. If she could get them on her side, Becker can't say no. Jess tiptoed (Which is quite hard in heals) over to them.

"Hey guys…"

"Jess are you ok. You look like you've been…" Connor started

"Crying? Yes… I have. Now who else really doesn't like Sammy"_****_

_**And she is yelling at a bridesmaid  
>Somewhere back inside a room<br>Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry  
><strong>_

Connor, Matt and Emily exchanged looks before nodding.

"Here's what you need to do. Connor, you need to do what you do best… Be as un-subtle as you can, to Becker, about the fact that I've been crying. Matt, you need to go over and shut Connor up after he's says what he needs to. Becker will ask questions. You need to tell him it was something to do with Sammy. Say the word Sammy a little too loudly so that she comes over." Jess took a deep breath before continuing.

_**This is surely not  
>What you thought it would be<br>I lose myself in a daydream  
>Where I stand and say<strong>_

_**Don't say yes, run away now  
>I'll meet you when you're out<br>Of the church at the back door**_

"Emily you need to be the one to get their attention on me, like saying 'You guys she's coming, shut up' Then I do my part. If anything goes wrong; Connor needs to skateboard into Sammy._****_

_**Don't wait or say a single vow  
>You need to hear me out<br>And they said "speak now"**_

"Go!"_****_

_**Fond gestures are exchanged  
>And the organ starts to play<br>A song that sounds like a death march**_

"Hey, Becker! Is it alright if I hang out with you, Abby needs some alone time with Jess, because Jess has been crying"

"Jess has been crying?" Becker almost yelled going into protective mode. Becker coughed and composed himself "Well, I guess she gets a taste of her own medicine." Matt ran over at that moment and put a hand over Connor's mouth.

"He hasn't said anything he shouldn't has he?" _****_

_**And I am hiding in the curtains  
>It seems that I was uninvited<br>By your lovely bride-to-be**_

"Just some… stuff. Did you know that she'd been crying?"

"Yeah apparently it's how mean SAMMY was to her."

"Sammy is not mean!"_****_

_**She floats down the aisle  
>Like a pageant queen.<br>But I know you wish it was me  
>You wish it was me (Don't cha?)<strong>_

_**Don't say yes, run away now  
>I'll meet you when you're out<br>Of the church at the back door**_

"Did someone say my name?" Sammy walked slowly over wearing a horrid grin.

_**Don't wait or say a single vow  
>You need to hear me out<br>And they said "speak now"**_

_**Don't say yes, run away now  
>I'll meet you when you're out<br>Of the church at the back door **_

"I think you guys should stop talking about Jess" Emily interrupted.

"And, why were you talking about Jess? Becker! I said you didn't need her!"_****_

_**Don't wait or say a single vow  
>Your time is running out<br>And they said, "speak now"**_

"You guys she's coming!" Emily Yelled

"I guess now's the time to show that you DON'T need her" Sammy glared at Becker._****_

_**Oh Oh Oh! ( said speak now... )**_

_**I hear the preacher say  
>"Speak now or forever ho-old your pea-ea-ea-eace<br>There's the silence, there's my last chance  
>I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me<br>**_

"Guys?" Jess sobbed "What's going on?"

"Becker's asking me out, that's what!" Sammy lied. It was actually Sammy who asked out Becker.

_**Horrified looks from  
>Everyone in the room<br>But I'm only looking at you.  
><strong>_

"Becker, please. I think I kinda love you." Jess stuttered.

"Well, it's too bad that he's mine then!" Sammy yelled dragging Becker off with her.

_**I am not the kind of girl  
>Who should be rudely barging in<br>On a white veil occasion  
>But you are NOT the kind of boy<br>Who should be marrying the wrong girl!  
><strong>_

"Becker! PLEASE! You're making a mistake!"

_**( Ha! )**_

_**So don't say yes, run away now  
>I'll meet you when you're out<br>Of the church at the back door**_

Everybody turned to Becker._****_

_**Don't wait or say a single vow  
>You need to hear me out<br>And they said, "speak now"**_

Becker looked from Sammy to Jess._****_

_**And you Say  
>Let's run away now<br>I'll meet you when  
>I'm out of my tux at the back door<strong>_

"Sammy, I think we should get out of here" Becker muttered._****_

_**Baby, I didn't say my vows  
>So glad you were around when they said<br>"Speak now"**_

"Should… I get my skateboard?"

"Just leave it Connor" Emily said, trying to comfort Jess.

**Author's closing notes: Next song: If this was a movie. I'm so, so, so, so sorry I made Jess go through that.**

…

…

…

**Spoiler Alert: Chapter 12 - BADASS JESS!**


	5. If This Was A Movie! F

**Author's notes: Traffic stats – 717 people read it. Anonymous reviews – Enabled. Reviews – 21… Oh well.**

**Thanks to everyone who did review. LOVE YOU!**

**If This Was A Movie – F**

Jess woke suddenly and sprung out of bed. She stopped running when she reached her door. Silence. She was sure that she heard him this time.

_**Last night I heard my own heart beating  
>Sounded like footsteps on my stairs<br>Six months gone and I'm still reaching  
>Even though I know you're not there <strong>_

Jess turned to go back to bed, but bumped into Abby.

"Abby, don't give me that face. I'm fine." Jess lied. "I know that I heard him this time! He knocked and then shouted my name."

"No, you're not fine. You're awake for Becker again. He's not here. Jess, I'm sure he will say sorry and stuff to you. But probably at work."

"Ok, ok. By the way, what gave me away?"

"I heard you knock over a lamp. The same lamp as last time. The same lamp as the other 29 times."

"Damn, not again. Sorry for waking you." Jess sighed.

"Jess, I'm not worried about my sleep, I'm worried about you… and also, 18 times, it wasn't the lamp that woke me anyway… Connor snores."

_**I was playing back a thousand memories baby  
>Thinkin bout everything we've been through<br>Maybe I've been going back too much lately  
>When time stood still and I had you <strong>_

Jess giggled for the first time in a month. Abby decided it was time, so instead to sending Jess to bed as usual, she took her over to the sofa and sat her down._****_

_**Come back come back come back to me like  
>You would you would if this was a movie<br>Stand in the rain outside til I came out  
>Come back come back come back to me like<br>You could you could if you just said you're sorry  
>I know that we can work it out somehow<br>But if this was a movie you'd be here by now **_

"Jess, I don't want to put down your hopes or make you upset. There is still a chance, but I think you should move on. I'm sorry, but he has Sammy and you are way too good for him." Abby heard Jess sob, but at the same time Jess nodded. "I know it's hard to hear, but I know you can do it."_****_

_**I know people change and these things happen  
>But I remember how it was back then<br>Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing  
>Cause nothing like this ever happened to them<br>Now I'm pacing down the hall  
>Chasing down the street<br>Flashback to a night when you said to me  
>Nothing's gonna change not for me and you<br>Not before I knew how much I had to lose  
><strong>_

"You're right Abby. I can do better. And I am going to! There's one of Becker's soldiers that really likes me, but never asked me out because of Becker. This could be my chance!" Jess smiled as the tears rolled down her face.

_**Come back come back come back to me like  
>You would you would if this was a movie<br>Stand in the rain outside til I came out  
>Come back come back come back to me like<br>You could you could if you just said you're sorry  
>I know that we can work it out somehow<br>But if this was a movie you'**__**d be here by now **_

"But what if Becker does want me back and I'm with someone! Then he won't ask me out and I'd have missed my chance!" Jess sobbed again, going into her previous state."

"Then you can look him in the eyes and tell him that it's too late. And that it's hard but you know it's for the best." Abby cradled Jess in her arms. And you never know. You could go into work tomorrow and just before you ask out the soldier Becker could come back. Nothing is ever too late. You just have to be strong."_****_

_**If you're out there if you somewhere if you're moving on  
>I'd be waiting for you ever since you've been gone<br>I just want it back the way it was before  
>And I just wanna see you back at my front door<br>And I'd say **_

"No, Abby. If he was going to come back, he would have done it by now. This isn't a fairy tale or a movie or a love song. I need to grow up."

"I'm glad you see it that way… but promise never to grow up" Abby laughed._****_

_**Come back come back come back to me like  
>You would before you said it's not that easy<br>Before the fight before I left you out  
>But I'd take it all back now <strong>_

"Ok. I'm gonna do it. I'm moving on!" Jess laughed half-heartedly_****_

_**Come back come back come back to me like  
>You would you would if this was a movie<br>Stand in the rain outside til I came out  
>Come back come back come back to me like<br>You could you could if you just said you're sorry  
>I know that we could work it out somehow<br>But if this was a movie you'd be here by now **_

Becker sank to the floor and clutched the roses close to his chest. She was moving on, he was too late. For a whole month he had been trying to get to her and Abby had stopped her every time… now Jess was moving on. "Please Jess. I don't love her. I'm just trapped and you can get me out. Just open the goddamn door." Becker cried quietly_****_

_**You'd be here by now  
>It's not the kind of ending you wanna see now<br>Baby what about the ending  
>Oh I thought you'd be here by now oh ohh ohh ohhh<br>That you'd be here by now**_

He was trapped. Sammy had him now.

**Author's closing notes: Next song: Picture to Burn. Review please**** (****even if they're bad reviews, I don't mind****)! Love you!**


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